Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in mutualhomo's LiveJournal:

Thursday, December 8th, 2005
1:15 am	Have I updated since we've gone on break? I don't remember. My break has consisted of me lazing around the house, taking care of Tony's and Billy's dogs (which I am not aloud to complain about because it annoys cousin even if I don't really want to give the dogs back,) being amused by my cats chasing dogs around the house waking up to rabid dogs jumping on me sleeping sleeping eating sleeping not sleeping cuddling with Jere in a nice big comfortable bed and yet still managing to wake up on top of him at times everyonce of awhile pulling myself from the warmth of the heater to go out with jere giving jere blowjobs hiding away in the heater realizing, just like every year around this time, that I really don't like the cold. and finding out that i'm almost cured. and also saying shit that should have never been said, I give that one to the Lovato brains, we're a smart bunch I tell you. I also blame the fact that I don't know whent o keep my big mouth shut on my ancestory. I tried not to leave bed the last few days, namely because... after all the sleeping I did I supposed I had too much sleep and just couldn't sleep... so didn't sleep and ended up not feeling well. But never fear... I had drac's ass in my face to keep me company and make me feel better. Tony and Billy, Teach your dogs some backbone so they'll sleep next to my cats at the BOTTOM of the bed. Love, Matt. Now... I'm gonna go lay my lazy ass right back down and feel guilty cuz I can't feed the dogs real food anymore. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 21st, 2005
11:18 am	I'm exhausted and it's cold outside. I keep having weird dreams and shit so I keep waking up when i go to sleep and my pills are acting with me like crazy I can't wait to get off the shit. The other day i stepped off the bus and jumped my ass right back on, i hate the cold really. Can't handle it. Not too ready for this tour to end, now that i've set back and realized, hey it's going to end soon. just really not ready for it. so god damned tired. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
3:26 pm	This last... week or so has been crazy, well not crazy, but I don't feel like coming up with another word for it. Shits going on with me and Jere, and agreeablyit's all my fault. and right now, like the past two or so days, i've been having a lot going through my head. It doesn't help that i got switched to some new pills, which don't make me feel as sick but they make me loopy and weird sometimes, and just plain odd. So I'm having trouble concentrating on anything I do, which is really annoying because... it's like i'm back in highschool unable to pay attention to anything other than when my next screw was going to happen, except... that's not where my thoughts are right now, bad comparision really. But I think I'd rather be loopy and for the most part be able to eat when i need ot eat without feeling like I need to be with my head in something puking. But... me and Jere... are having some problems right now and my head's stuck on all that so I'm being... weirder than usual i guess, I don't know I've noticed it. So far this tour is one of the best and worst ones I've ever been on, for many reasons and I want it to end but at the same time I don't. Does anyone understand? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
5:53 pm	So where have i been for the last how man days? Most of the time I spent laying in my bunk cuz I've been getting some really bad headaches and shit... and yeah. I had no idea I was hiding out THAT long, but I was. So I went to the hospital yesterday or whatever, the day before? Two days ago, I don't know. Okay more like, Tony forced me to the hospital, I hate those places. But they found something growing in my head, like a collection of cell's or something It's not like life threatening or anything, if I take my pills and shit anyways, cuz they're supposed to make it shrink and all that jaz. But I'm not dying, just nauseaus/tired/dizzy/andmaybehavingtheshitsinthenearfuture for a little while (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 8th, 2005
1:34 am	It's been... hectic this last week. I'm in chicago with tony for a few days and things are at least somewhat okay with us. We had an argument on wednesday, maybe, I don't know, this last week has blurred together for me. I should be in bed sleeping right now I'm just... can't right now. I knew I'd end up screwing up with Tony, saying the wrong thing, pushing too hard, all of that... and I'm really a dumbfuck sometimes. I'm pissed and hurt and worried tod eath about tony all at one time,except I'm not really pissed, maybe it's more that I'm pissed with myself that his drug problem has been going on so long and I just never realized it. Maybe I did and never thought about it, we've always done things in abundance, drank too much, popped too many pills shit like that. It's how we grew up I guess, I should have noticed it though and i've been wraped up in my own shit to notice tony was in over his head. and he did soemthing drastic that night, which isn't my place to speak about. and I brought him back to the bus and got Billy to help calm him down and I went to see Jere and came back later and me and tony talked and shit and I told him I'd go to chicago with him if he wanted. Tony's scared that I care about Jere more than him and he's hurt that I, god how do I word this, the wording's not coming to my head right now, and I Think me telling him I'd go to chicago with him out of the blue convinced him that I don't put Jere over him. I don't Jere before Tony and vice versa. Jere... I really love Jere and I feel like things are moving fast, but they're not really are they? I've known Jere for so long. It's not like it was a very big step for me to go from liking him/lovign him like a brother to loving him. and I feel comfortable with Jere and it's like with Jere I can't screw it up, even though I'm terrofied as fuck that I will screw it up somehow and I half wish I could make Jere feel how he makes me feel, but hen again not so much. But I wish I could figure out something to show him how much he means to me. Jere, I'm sorry that I left so suddenly for chicago babe. I love you and I miss you. Uhm Gee likes me the more he talks to me, which is nice to hear what else has happened, god I don't know, I'm fucking cold though. Yeah I'mg oing to go lay down right now, Jere I'm going to call you or something tomorrow. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 29th, 2005
8:03 am	I took Jere out on a real date the other day, in the last city we were in. That was vgas right? I did the whole shibang, at least in my head, i'm horrible with all the romantic stuff but I tried. It didn't end as good as it could, because of a certain reason I won't go into. Jere you know what it was, i'm sorry, *pleeding look* Uhm, I think I've got really strong feelings for Jere,a nd it seems we're going fast, or that I'm falling fast. Yeah that's it, I feel like i'm falling so fast, and I've never done that before. Maybe it's cuz I've known Jere for so long. It scares me how fast this is going, my feelings wise, sometimes really bad. I haven't gone seen Tony in about a week, I feel like shit for it... but things... are awkward, that'st he word, I'm gonna talk to him today. We're in need of a really deep talk, a long talk, regardless if we don't want it, I know Billy's planning some sort of revenge on me, cuz I said he had no muscles. I love you bills man, but come and get me little man. Mikey, unless Gee is subvertly trying to ease me into a sense of calm then get me... he seems like I'm safe, it was only when he thought I was gonna take you from him that he was going to come after me. Brandon, I could take your ass anyday, but we're not going to fight. ( OCC ) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 23rd, 2005
9:44 pm	Has it only been two weeks since this tour started? or has it been three weeks, I can't remember, that's how I always get, I have no idea where I am or what date it is. Craziness of being on the road and all that. These last few weeks have been good and bad at the same time, a lot I should say, don't know if I'll end up typing it all up. I'm a lazy fucker. and there's shit I just don't want to say or think. Me and Jere are together, it wasnt' too long itno this tour that we got together... I feel bad that I can't remember the day it happened. I mean, remember the day, just not how long ago it was. Seems like we've always been together anyways, ya know. It's nice. It really is nice, and yeah that's all I got to say about it cuz I got thoughts in my head that I can't get out quiet right. and then stuff with Tony... I don't know what to say about it all, it's not good, he's getting better, but still yeah. I'm out. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 9th, 2005
3:50 pm	Fuck it, I love my life, and apparently Tony's a hell of a bigger dumbass then I thought he was. -Asshole (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 8th, 2005
10:51 pm	Yo Matthew Lovato, Mest, AIM is mutualhomo (Comment on this)